Ariana's Angels

This week has been a tough one for Blessed Baby mommas.

A woman came into the shop, in her stocking feet and jammies, and wanted to sell her baby things. We typically will take in furniture and larger items on consignment, but there was an urgency for her to be rid of them and she just wanted to sell them. We talked more, and she revealed that she had miscarried at 6 1/2 months along. She had birthed a boy at home, and while at the hospital was told by an OB nurse that this happens to women all the time and to get over it. When she reported her experience to the HR dept at the hospital, she was told that she could set up a group to help moms change their responses to loss, but she would have to work through her own stuff first. Are you kidding me? Really? How about a training to teach the OB nurses how to respond to infant loss and to be more respectful?

That same afternoon, another mom came in and returned items while I wasn't there, and just said "I lost the baby." When I heard about this, I was heartbroken. This was a mom who, after miscarrying a couple of times, worked so hard to have a healthy baby. She carried full term, went into labor, and her mother's intuition told her something was wrong. During an ultrasound, she wasn't able to make her baby move by talking to her like usual. Apparently, Ariana had aspirated meconium (MAS). The doctors tried to save her, giving mom an emergency C-section and suctioning baby as much as possible, but Ariana Angel was returned to heaven. Mom was able to have her baptised and cremated, but the expenses of her services are too much for her. She has been given some grief at the town office in asking for assistance with it ("go get a job" and "I want to see receipts to where all your money is going when you get your state check"). Again- are you kidding me??? This is a woman grieving the loss of her child!!!

And yesterday, I was called by a friend whose relative birthed a robust baby boy, only to learn of major heart defects. He has had one surgery and faces more. She's pumping, and travelling, and needs support.

All of these moms need support. There are products at the shop that I want to GIVE to them. Teas for milk production, emotional balance, and post-partum recovery. Herbals for tension, increasing iron, and health support. Zaky pillows for preemies and sick babies. Candles to light in honor of Angel Babies. I don't want to charge mothers who are already struggling with loss or difficulties for these items. But of course, Blessed Baby can't afford to just give things away. We do have bills to pay.

For a long time I have felt a calling to set up a program to help mothers in need. It began with a Myspace family (read here about Kaleb Schwade's story). and I set up a Zaky fundraising program. It wasn't very successful, and I wondered why I had all these Zaky pillows and no babies to give them to. And suddenly, with the birth and death of Ariana Angel, I feel the calling again- this time for local moms. With her mom's permission and help, I hope to start a grant program called Ariana's Angels. A fundraising program to be able to GIVE these moms the products that will help them through. A program that can help defray costs of travel, medical bills, even funeral costs and headstones or other memorial items. A program that educates health professionals in the compassion needs of families in this situation. A program that gives families the support system they need in times of crisis. This program will be a part of our Mothers' Center, a non-profit agency.

If anyone has experience in setting up this kind of program and would like to offer advice or resources, I am open to any and all suggestions!!